Major Modern Classicist
to the tune of "Modern Major General," Gilbert & Sullivan
credit to Dr. Susann S. Lusnia

I am the very model of a Major Modern Classicist
With information Greek and Roman, Byzantine, Medievalist
I know the kings of Roma and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Actium in order categorical

I'm very well acquainted too with matters philosophical
I understand the dialogues Platonic and Socratical
About the Ars Poetica I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many tearful facts about the plot of the Aeneid, too!

(musical interlude)

I know the many bawdy tales of beings mythological
I'm very good at scansion and the finer points grammatical
In short in matters Greek and Roman, Byzantine, Medievalist
I am the very model of a Major Modern Classicist

(FYI, this was the product of late night studying for Greek and Latin exams during junior year of undergraduate training, while also taking voice lessons!)